Sealed Banana (Photo via coolorama.com)
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One of the most absurd and amusing “edible food-like substance” creations of all-time was Kellogg’s plastic-like Fruit Roll Ups, marketed under the hilarious Orwellian claim that the roll ups had “real fruit” in them.

Now, furthering the corporate group think tradition of Theatre of the Absurd, in a desperate and piteous effort to increase the sale price of their bananas, Del Monte, who posted a nearly 10 million dollar fourth-quarter loss, sending the stock tumbling, has decided to package and sell individual bananas for $1 each in a Del Monte Banana Plastic Wrap, marketed under the slogan “Natural Energy Snack on the Go”.

Del Monte plans to sell their individually plastic wrapped bananas at in the UK at gas stations, convenience stores, leisure centers, and gyms. Their bananas wrapped in plastic are currently being trialled in 7-Eleven stores in Dallas. If successful, Del Monte’s preposterous creation will be sold in grocery stores nationwide.

According to the Wall Street Journal, the cost of banana production for Del Monte rose 5% due to Guatemalan floods that hammered the crop. Unfavorable currency exchange rates also boosted costs, and the company was hit by a $14 million write-down related to a disease that plagued isolated plantations in the Philippines.

Del Monte said in a March 1 statement that lower prices in Asia and the Middle East led to a loss in the business. Global banana prices fell 2%; and excess banana supplies and weak prices forced production cutbacks.

Notwithstanding the obvious fact that bananas have a built-in natural degradable package, Del Monte insists the addition of the plastic bag is actually a green measure (you gotta love it) designed to provide significant carbon footprint savings by reducing the frequency of deliveries and the amount of waste going to a landfill.

“This is a backwards step which will contribute to the twin problems of landfill and litter,” said Gary Porter, of the UK’s Environment Board of the Local Government Association. “Nature has designed out the need for bananas to have extra packaging even for sale at service stations. It’s the same yellow wrapper that protects them on the supermarket shelf.”

Porter adds: “Retailers and manufacturers need to cut back on packaging, not create more. Every year it costs councils more than £600million in taxes to send waste to landfill. Councils and residents have made great steps in bringing that cost down by increasing recycling but we need the food industry to do much more to reduce the amount of unnecessary packaging.”

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Spence Cooper
Inquisitive foodie with a professional investigative background and strong belief in the organic farm to table movement. Author of Bad Seeds: A FriendsEAT Guide to GMO's. Buy Now!
Spence Cooper
Spence Cooper

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